The Feminist Friday

On a dating app, I swiped right to a person with “If you think Kabir Singh was only about misogyny, swipe left.” statement in the bio.

I did not completely agree with the statement but I swiped right for two reasons - one, to give the person a benefit of the doubt(the rest of the bio was indeed interesting) and second since I haven’t seen the movie, so my opinions about the movie were mostly second-hand and it is always good to know perspectives.

And while we continued talking about movies and perspectives, he, out of almost nowhere, defended himself in a disclaimer: “I am not anti-feminist, I understand and support the movement but I am mostly a passive supporter” to which I instantly replied, “Aren’t most of us?”

I remember, during my MBA days, we were discussing the relevance of gender of a leader in the way he/she is perceived. There is a very popular study Howard vs Heidi and the class (with 40 men and 15 women) were to engage in a discussion when our professor interrupted and asked, “ How many of you identify yourselves as Feminist?”. My hand shot up in the air but the professor gave me a dismissive look and said, “Girls don’t need to raise hands because all girls are feminists” and that statement made me very uncomfortable.

Because it is not the complete truth.

I identify as a vocal feminist.

This means I do not just go on social media and bash Patriarchy (from a private account so you can’t say it is for likes) but I also identify and call out the gender biases engraved in our society and lifestyles and suggest ways we can move beyond them (doing my bit all the time, thanks to my progressive parents). This also includes relatives and friends not agreeing with me and calling me “too much” at times, but hey, you can’t stop believing in what you believe in.

But the phrase that my online dating match used, “passive feminist” stayed with me. I see so many women, who I initially admired fall into the traps of patriarchy willingly and voluntarily. And while some may say, it is wise and not always possible to make your point, I believe that the battles we don’t fight today, will become our daughters’ tomorrow.

It is 2021. The world is still fighting a pandemic and remote working has refuted so much of what the pre-pandemic world believed in. Yet, we are not able to move beyond our gender biases, still conforming to gender roles that were not meant for the 21st-century lifestyle.

This blog series, titled “The Feminist Friday”, is my one small attempt to convert all my thoughts on the society we live in, into actionable tasks so that we become more inclusive and gender-unbiased.

If you disagree with anything, reach out, drop a message (and I might not be quick to reply) and I promise I won’t defend myself blindly. I am also learning.